Random Tips And Quotes

The older I get the better I was
T-shirt slogan

 

The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass.
Martin Mull

 

Fiction writing is great, you can make up almost everything.
Ivana Trump

 

Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if yo just sit there.
Will Rogers

 

Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
Will Durant

 

The love of truth lies at the root of much humour.
Robertson Davies

 

When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

 

The hardest thing in life to learn is which bridge to cross and which to burn.
David Russell

 

To get something done, a committee should consist of no more than three men, two of whom are absent.
Robert Copeland

 

Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
Groucho Marx

 

If the shoe fits, get another just like it.
George Carlin

 

Why do they bother say ‘raw sewerage’. Do some people cook that stuff?
George Carlin

 

I don’t need plastic surgery. I need Lourdes.
Paul O’Grady

 

Why is it that the winner of the Miss Universe contest always comes from earth?
Rich Hall

 

Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewellery.
Rita Rudner

 

A lot of people are into body piercing. They end up looking like they have been mugged by a staple gun.
Robin Williams

 

I knew I was going bold when it took longer and longer to wash my face.
Harry Hill

 

Looking in the mirror in the morning – The face is familiar, but I can’t remember my name
Robert Benchley

 

Take my advise – I don’t need it.
Anon

 

Be happy with who you are but excited about who you’re becoming
Anon

 

What other people think about you is none of your business.
Anon