Random Tips And Quotes

The older I get the better I was
T-shirt slogan


The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass.
Martin Mull


Fiction writing is great, you can make up almost everything.
Ivana Trump


Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if yo just sit there.
Will Rogers


Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
Will Durant


The love of truth lies at the root of much humour.
Robertson Davies


When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


The hardest thing in life to learn is which bridge to cross and which to burn.
David Russell


To get something done, a committee should consist of no more than three men, two of whom are absent.
Robert Copeland


Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
Groucho Marx


If the shoe fits, get another just like it.
George Carlin


Why do they bother say ‘raw sewerage’. Do some people cook that stuff?
George Carlin


I don’t need plastic surgery. I need Lourdes.
Paul O’Grady


Why is it that the winner of the Miss Universe contest always comes from earth?
Rich Hall


Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewellery.
Rita Rudner


A lot of people are into body piercing. They end up looking like they have been mugged by a staple gun.
Robin Williams


I knew I was going bold when it took longer and longer to wash my face.
Harry Hill


Looking in the mirror in the morning – The face is familiar, but I can’t remember my name
Robert Benchley


Take my advise – I don’t need it.


Be happy with who you are but excited about who you’re becoming


What other people think about you is none of your business.